Cover her up for the children. Children who have been looking at all the internet has to offer since their birth. Yes, for their sake.

Keep in mind, hangover snowshoveling is the worst type of snowshoveling.

I only engage trolls when I'm drunk. Which leads to the obvious question, why am I not drinking right now?

Two things:

What, are we supposed to treat inmates like human beings? Next you're going to tell me that actually are human being.

She is all about a new form of classism, but many of the people who believe her aren't. They are the sort of people who tend to agree with the last position they heard.

Perfect.

We're saying the same thing.

I would correct that you got his name backwards, but ultimately, it doesn't matter.

In the past, snake-oil salesmen only came through your village once a month. Now we have the internet. We're worse off.

Being a nuttier-than-squirrel-shit lunatic is the path to fame and fortune in modern America.

I know, right. Best friends!

I... I've already said too much.

It is almost never an option. Publically releasing the names of winners is an anti-fraud measure.

Step number one: Abandon home (seriously, it'll be a media circus) and find nice hotel to live in for the immediate future.

Just purge Facebook from your life. Problem solved in one, easy step.

If you don't release the names, how would the public know that lotteries aren't just stealing everyone's money?

Take the lump sum and set up an annuity on your own terms.

I wear the mountain biking baggy shorts. It's a commute, not Le Tour de France.

A tow truck driver and a man with paperwork is all this situation required.