As insufferable as they are, as a kid from divorced parents I think the way Goop and Chris seem to treat each other and their family is bloody heart warming.

The man’s a genius. I mean, do you know who the drummer for Nickelback and Three Doors Down is? I know if he came into my music shop to buy drum mics, I wouldn’t look at him twice.

Well if the White House incumbent can spend his entire life in a world of pure imagination, why can’t Chris have just one day?

The perfect crime!

Some dude stole Nickelback’s drummer’s identity to buy nearly $25,000 worth of drum microphones.

Kelllyanne, tragically, became a double amputee following the Bowling Green Massacre.

Did that really happen? Because that is hilarious

My favorite Kate McKinnon bit from last night:

Yeah, what a whack job!

It’s definitely a sticky situation.

?

Goddammit.

There very well may be a reason he had no one close to him...six tons of porn is a pretty big indicator that he was a fucking pervert.

So this one time we got a brochure from a church in the mail and there was a cartoon pic of a guy being crushed under the weight of his sins. One of the rocks said “porns” on it and we laughed so hard about that. Crushed by the weight of his porns.

Did not know this is a thing that actually happens. Not so funny…

Yeah but did you see his collection? Absolutely smashing.

The comments here are A fucking plus. Y’all are awful, wonderful people.

How did this man not possess the forearm strength to lift himself out of this predictament.

These crush fetishes are getting out of hand.

If there’s one thing more tedious than the man-child trope, it’s faux-regret for it.