It took those cops 16 minutes to arrive because driving in Austin fucking sucks ass, not because they were defunded 

‘No, I’m trying to hook up a three way with your wife and sister!’

If this is the one I’m thinking of, this bill only affects social studies classes, meaning I’ll be picking up the slack in my English class.

Shiner Bock is the best. I once drank 15 while chillin at the pool... and passed out before the sun set. Plus they have the best commercials:

Meanwhile I’m over here trying to become a stay-at-home trophy husband 

But enough about 1960/ highway 6

Ted Cruz seems to wish it was 

I wouldn’t exactly call it trucker country, but the first album by honeyhoney fucking whips ass

I’ve had a pinched nerve exploding in my face for the past two months, so at this point

Seriously! I just don’t get how people don’t see it. Seems like ever single goddamn piece of legislation passed was either punitive or restrictive, yet ‘we can’t have the federal government telling us what to do, we’re the state of small government.’ 

If it means that I don’t have to worry about possibly freezing to death just because it gets too fucking cold, then yes, absolutely. The leadership of this state doesn’t give a shit about its constituents as is, so whatever, nationalize it idgaf 

That you, greg? Shouldn’t you be making life worse for anyone who isn’t a white male? 

As a relative of one of these types, the answer to all of these is a resounding no. Obsessing over shit like this is pretty much it 

This Texan agrees 

I feel the same lol 

We gotta make it like the heartbeat sensor

Remember, he got elected based off the stupid Jade Helm thing. Stupid culture war grievances are all he brings to the table 

Yup. And the very first piece of legislation he passed was to fuck over people who go through situations similar to his. Whereas he got something like a 7 or 8 figure settlement, plus payments every few months, now people in the state will only get a one time 6 figure settlement. He’s the only person I have no qualms…