Ditto for the Phillies and it has been that way for years with rare exceptions (9/11, some holidays).

The swing plane is all wrong. When she connects, the launch angle will be too low, no matter how much exit velocity she generates.

Not to mention the overwhelming righthandedness of the rotation. Every SP this year (including Eickhoff, who looks healthy after 2 years of being not right) has been a righty. A lefty like Keuchel (or hell, bring back Cole Hamels when the Cubs go full-on fire sale!) would be a nice change. Having 2 Cy Young winners…

Tony Finau isn’t getting people to tune in on Sunday afternoons. Tiger, for all of his human foibles and shortcomings, captured the world’s attention as a child. Because he simply does things others can’t. And he went from being a superhuman talent to a divorced dad with a DUI, a body that was falling apart and a…

Philanderer? Sure he is. Is that what makes him an asshole? The world is rotten with people who’ve fooled around on their spouses in every sphere of life - politics, business, entertainment, sports, military. Not sure what his private life has to do with being an insanely talented golfer, or why I would root against…

Congrats, man. I figure another 20 years and I will let my junior partners take over the full-time work, and I can be an office-based houseplant for a few years more until I get sick of the whole thing.

If I fart for us both, can I keep the... *looks in pocket* ... $13 I have on me?

You’re better than Ezra.

Also, he is exceptionally good at what he does best. He does things that millions and millions of people do regularly - he just does it better than the rest of us. And we enjoy watching that kind of skill. Hey, Mayday - there’s a local pediatric cancer ward that could use some of your good cheer. Go there.

Had to get it in early because of the threat of bad weather. Caught me by surprise, I was rounding this weekend.

You’re right. I am not Mick Jagger. Though if I were gunning to be dating a 23-year old after my valve replacement at age 75, my future girlfriend would currently be... *whips out calculator*... negative-9 years old. Ick.

Hoping that they will crater, more worried that they might not.

Except the Mets might not be bad this year, and I say that as a Phillies fan,

A chapter in my autobiography, about my first marriage.

It becomes my Wednesday morning, 5a pre-shower dump fix. I can wait.

THIS. I don’t even set an alarm clock any more. My colon gets me up a few minutes before 5. Wife and kids and dogs are asleep, I get the bathroom all to myself. Hell, I was reading this article on the throne this morning (but Kinja is not working since my last iPhone update, so I had to hold my thoughts until I got to…

YES. Without a doubt. Not even a consideration. This isn’t Penthouse Forum.

I still have and maintain one.

If you didn’t see nipple, you didn’t see boob.

This is pretty much Jalen Rose’s argument, which he made to Pierce’s face.