“I’ve got to go, Coach. It’s all right. I’m not afraid. Some time, Coach, when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys, ask them to go in there and convert a fake punt for the Gipper. You know, pretend it’s a tribute to me. I don’t know where I’ll be then, Coach. But I’ll…

Missed the perfect opportunity to snap it to the upback for the nastiest trick play of all time!

Ditto. they’d probably suffocate in all that bubble wrap.

Close, it’s almost burfict.

Are you lost?

me

My new goal is to get to 400 before the Buddy System hits, because if I get over the finish line walking a fish on my shoulder it’ll feel less like an accomplishment for me.

Of all of the bizarre political twists and turns this country has taken, the strangest one is this: the fetishizing, and elevating, of symbolic gestures, while actual words and actions have become almost irrelevant.

i like saying polestar as if it rhymes with molester

Because when you want hard-hitting perspective about how the world really works, you go to a 24 year old blond who's putting together an audition reel for a sweet FoxNews gig.

“I’m strapped in for the good shit, Tomi. Fuck me up.”

(Given that she’s a hot blonde white chick from the heartland who went to college in Vegas, there’s a pretty decent chance that that video already exists in the wild)

Sand fighting. It’s got a pretty long and storied history. Google it.

spirit is me. froze initially, saw someone else do something smart, tried to be smart and follow, and ended up getting bodied.

Philadelphia fans can attest to the fact that Eagles can take your Spirit away.

Takata should just changing the labeling on their product from Airbag to Claymore. “Front toward enemy"

Roethlisberger looks like someone tried to make Will Ferrell in Fallout 4 but fucked up.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again...

Good analogy.

“kids should be grateful to generate millions of dollars for colleges that won’t pay them a dime”

Can we please let people work out how they choose, and maybe even let them enjoy it?