After reading the litany of questionable decisions this guy has made so far, I’m not sure he isn’t David Tracy.

David Tracy will from now on be dubbed “Captain Maths”. He’s Jalopnik’s resident James May.

“(Oh! Oh! Do the 124 Spider next!)“

“Now make sure you do a right good job brushing your teeth.”

Much love, Ballaban, and Jalopnik

Didn’t the brits send their savages to Australia?

“Son, I would have let you off with a warning for going 300 mph in a 55 mph zone, but I see that your tires are not road legal and I’m afraid you’ve given me no other option.”

“I just buy everything used on Craigslist. No taxes or dealer markup when you buy private party “

12 is a bit much, but I think it’s cool that the MLB agreed to spot the Phillies some runs.

Before any of you bitch about Hartsfield, it’s a good airport.

 But people walking with headphones was comparatively back rare then. 

I’m not sure where you grew up but Walkmans were very, very popular where I did and there were a lot of kids walking around with them so I guess your last comment makes you feel like you made a really good point but you didn’t...

This has to be the most millennial answer ever. You think headphones didn’t come along until the iPod? You know there were discman and walkman waaaay before the iPod, right? And way before 1994.

You forgot:

From Troy to Bloomfield Township is a whopping 8 miles.

* wasn’t Minnesota drunk

“Sundby, in a slight bit of apocrypha, apparently said no and left.”

"8 AAA batteries? At some point it should just plug into the wall..."

You have now made the fatal mistake of summoning Jalopnik's Opponauts over to Giz. I hope you're racecar.