Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

Their kitchen is twice the size of our flat

Except, y'know, about jews.

I always laugh when idiots think that spunk has hundreds of Calories in it. Come on people, think it through, if that were true no teenage boy would weigh more than 6 stone!

See I might eat that if it was flat, but by folding it it has become just so... unwholesome...

The Torygraph may be right wing but it is a broadsheet, not a tabloid. Its reporting tends to be (relatively) decent.

I'm going to take that as a compliment.

I think Hilda and I would be bros.

Here's an image illustrating the phenomenon.

Yeah no sure the reason the finance sector is full of well connected white men is because those guys just all happened to be the best people for the jobs and they all worked really hard to get there and have earned every penny.

You lucky fucker. For years if you googled my full name (which is rather uncommon) on the first page you got a link to my gallery full of fairies and dragons and various mythological horses along with my toe curlingly bad comments that I made when I was 14.

I know right? I was a huge white stripes fan as a teenager and always got the impression from lyrics that he rather respected women, but I guess I was wrong.

Dude, pee does not give you urinary tract infections.

She got grief for that? I thought she looked lovely!

Look if a large percentage of people elected for a little harmless snip of the ears of babies with detached earlobes because they preferred the aesthetic and earlobes were gross and unhygienic then I'd be pretty dead set against earlobe circumcision too, even though they are completely useless lil flaps and it doesn't…

Ah see I thought this too (like <4% of kids born in the UK now are circumcised before 15 and it is almost always for medical reasons) but apparently there is some royal tradition blah blah Prince Charles is circumcised blah. But yeah come on they are a nice modern couple of course they bloody wont.

Because they are arguing against some quite unpleasant accusations. I would be super defensive too if someone told me my uncut labia were unhygienic and stinky and ugly and no one would ever want to eat me out.

I remember that clip. Myself and members of my family have been forced onto benefits several times after job losses and health problems, and learning about her background as a teenager made me feel like there was hope for us not to be poor for the rest of our lives.

I giggled the whole way through this and I'm not even sorry.