Of course they didn't quarantine the Blues. If St Louis-area authorities are going to try to quarantine anybody, it's going to be the blacks.

Halloween 2003 took place while I was in third grade,

Report: Timberwolves unpopular with fans, according to telephone poll

PSA: guys, stop girlfriend-zoning people

That Spanish Fork player is gonna need some tenedor loving care.

Certain varieties are stocked at some LCBO (the government-owned corporation that sells all liquor in Ontario) locations, but having it on draft in Belgium was magical.

"Belgium is home to some of the world's very most distinguished breweries, including Chimay, Duvel, Cantillon, Rochefort, and Dupont."

Someone brought Stella over to my house for a party, then proceeded to drink a couple of my Sculpins. He hasn't been back to the house.

Yeah, we don't have ANY of that going on here...

Gordie Howe may have suffered a stroke, but the stroke probably suffered worse.

So in hockey speak he has an upper body injury.

Shitting at work is a goddamned inalienable right. I'm pretty sure that's why we have unions.

which white people swear is better than white rice and never is.

In 10,000 years, high schoolers will still be buying TI graphing calculators with crappy graphics. And they'll still cost $90.

I'm going to march into Guy Fieri's place, order a sandwich, remove everything Fieri's wage slaves put on it, and then run outside with the roll screaming "I SAVE BREAD!"

I don't TRY to do it, but if I have to poop at a guys house (or if he's at mine) I poop. I figure if he can't handle me pooping/knowing that I poop etc he probably doesn't deserve to see me naked.

May this become the rallying cry of all plebes* who still eat gluten: I SAVE BREAD!**

"Yes, and I like my coffee like I like my men." The waiter, without changing his expression said, "I'm very sorry, madam, but we don't have any gay coffee."

The ability to hold a series lead?

He said there is no indication of criminal activity.