“And, the Senator would like to apologize for decades of troglodytic, mouth-breathing, truck-nutted, 17%-more-free-in-each-bag policies his party has supported regarding women’s righ -” Read more

I heard Brock Turner’s dad was the most compelling witness. Why would this jury want to ruin these white males’ futures over a small, 41-day mistake? Read more

Curious Theodore
Rumorr mongerer
Unsettling twerp
Zappa-like sounder of bullshit
Impeller of shame
Said reports of skin-mushed
Temper tantrum throwing
High estrogen
Eater of satan’s balloon knot
Zeppo Marx with gout look-alike
Ostracizing polemicist
Deserving of “Lyin’ Ted”
Ignorant as fu<k
Annoying as the NFL’s catch rule
K(C) ruz
Read more

Wow - getting ready to go about my privileged life and then Jia drops 3.5 dried grams of truth bomb onto my consciousness. Read more

Sean Suisman, a producer at, a science fiction adult film site, called the law “a new low in American morality.” When asked for comment, Charli XXX, the new VP of government relations at, said the proposed regulations were an “unwelcome fist in at Read more

“Guys! I think I’ve got something here...” Read more

I reckon you reckoned correctly. Read more

Thanks for sharing. May your pelvic floor one day know the elasticity of a thousand magical rainbow rubber bands! Read more

When you’re loafin’ outside and then you realize the womynz be readinz the Jezebel...

Setting aside the horribly offensive nature of this, I cannot believe that somebody, somewhere, found artistic merit in stuff that my 4-year old does when she’s breaking the rules. Read more

[Pictured, “Cleveland Weed”]

I translated your article back to men-glish so that 4Chan and Trump voters may enjoy it, too. Read more

Ah yes, the vagina laser, a distant cousin of the penile proton torpedo...

“did you see the recent Jezebel post? So fetch. Also...” Read more

“Ma’am this small intestine has over 3 oz. of liquid in it, you gon’ hafta check dat.” Read more