“oh, this article is written by someone who owns a butcher shop and works with meat professionally. let me tell them how they are wrong and i, random internet man, are correct.”-you

Ah, yes, I forgot that Lorde is a noted originator of glass boxes. And a woman. 

This sounds delicious. I’m a fan of both canned and homemade but I always remember using a can of store bought stuff for leftover sandwiches since they fit so nicely on smaller rolls.

[nevermind]

Doesn’t this mean you guys will just have a lot more content than usual on a random Tuesday night?

Yup. Smirnoff Ice for insecure guys.

Diabetes, liver damage, and flavor extracts: Modern America in a glass. 

Was Davidson really that insulting? I think it’s a pretty accurate description of Crenshaw’s look.

this is incredible.

This was really interesting and I would totally read more interviews with losing candidates, or, shit, with any reflective members of political world. So that means you could write maybe five more before you run out.

Has anyone here read the 13th amendment?

That’s so nice! I’m all about the kids (or adults) making a little cash selling snacks.

Last night I saw a fruit snack kid just give like three bags to a homeless lady. Definitely improved my night and reminded me that not everyone who wants my attention on the subway is an asshole. 

Last week a showtime dancer kicked me in the shoulder, slipped off his pole and ate shit. Then he looked up at me like I was a bad person for laughing at his fall. 

If there was ever a group of people who deserve to get stuck in a subway tunnel over night it is this group of women. 

“Idiots with Egos” would make a good title for a book about the fall of the human race. 

So they’re saying that Jim Acosta’d her?

Sudafed, hot toddies, whiskey, Nyquil. Not all at once. 

Yeah, my bad. I was typing faster than I was thinking. I should’ve framed that “week or two” part better.

Hey, that was kind of funny. Glad we found your sense of humor.