Oh, she's still having plenty of sex with others. Unfortunately for this guy, she's disabled micros.

these are all terrible excuses. Tired drunk and dirty sex are all awesome

If this lackluster Excelmanship is any indication, this is a man who lacks passion.

They said that about Palpatine as well.

This really will go as the most under-appreciated comment on Foodspin.

Jim Gaiffigan said it best: "People always ask me 'Do you know what they do to those chickens?!' No, but it is delicious."

I try really hard not to be put off by the "have a blessed day" as they complete your order because I'm sure it's meant with the best intentions, but I can't resist replying with "as-salamu alaykum".

"my feeling is you can be a perfectly good person regardless of your stance on it."

I totally trolled you right now. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Seriously, bring me the grilled chick-fil-a.

The suffering makes the meat taste better.

Buck, buck, buck Mr. Chickensworth! BUCK BUCK BUCK!

sorry... and....#boom goes the @dynamite

and..... Boom goes the dynamite.

Scott then expressed his extreme displeasure that he'd expected much better Chinese food in Korea.

It was actually even worse than that. He called the poor guy a "Cowherd".

This is semi-related but it is amazing.

Merek Treter and Dike Jout

I think this sounds fantastic and you should be proud. You have inspired me to do some Cabbage Patching around the office today. Watch out desk lamps!!

Bobby has always been the lesser cute of the extended New Edition family (Ricky Bell is the cutest IMO!) but "Every Little Step I Take" is a JAM. I mean it like it caused spontaneous Running Man outbreaks in everyone's living rooms in 1988. Well, my living room (sorry, Mom).