I'd guess all the dust that can't settle onto our furniture and other horizontal surfaces just ends up getting sucked into our lungs. No big deal, I'm sure.

Agreed, particularly in the era of single-page websites. Simple vertical scrolling is second nature to pretty much any web user by now and produces its own slideshow effect without the JS encumbrances.

When I was in The Industry, I heard that applicants for secret shopper "jobs" who had any food service experience were rejected. I had trouble believing it, but when I managed a very high-end steak house (hundred bucks a head, parking lot full of Porsches and Range Rovers), we received one secret shopper report that…

Pretty sure I'm not your target demo (mid-50s male), but this is seriously some of the most imaginatively hilarious writing I've come across since Steve Martin. You're the Michael J. Nelson/Bill Corbett/Kevin Murphy of the written word. Thank you. Off to read the rest of the "series" now.

Little-known fact: Wilhite's original name for the format was "Giraffe-ics Interchange Format." Hence, "Jiff."

Accessory

Ass-hat? Attorney? No need to be redundant here.

Well put. I thought the white space around Silver's non-answer was loud and clear. I could almost see the thought bubble over his head with Stern's happy visage in it.

Thanks. I am feline pretty good about it.

A catastrophe that started as just a little drive down mane street.

You maybe lack of having. The other half of us? Lack of anywhere near as much having.

But...but...she's read BOOKS. How could she be wrong? (Just how would Kristin Cavallari define "too many books about autism"? With fractions?)

"Do your business online"? Thanks very much for painting that word picture.

In tomorrow's DIY, we'll show you how to turn your appendix into a hidden compartment for the numpad you replaced with a hidden compartment in your keyboard!

Oh. My bad. I clicked on this article because I thought it said "How to Talk Your Kids to Death."

I've often wondered how the gargantuan balls it must take to throw themselves down a solid ice track at light speed on half an ironing board don't slow them down, let alone fit in those body suits. And I'm not just talking about the men. I'm not even tough enough to entertain the thought of doing this.

Threaten to make him do push-ups if he doesn't comply.

@celebcharas makes a fair point, and the 1st Amendment isn't really the issue. Free speech gives us the right to say whatever we want, yes, but courtesy and professionalism demand that we respect our audience. I don't think it's too much to ask that a, well, professional site like Lifehacker respect the fact that not…

Sounds great. I'll get to it - right after I finish trimming my nails with a chainsaw and shaving my head with a cheese grater.

Big hands + old eyes = 10".