Seriously. Its the worst example of name-dropping. “I was just having a conversation the other day with my friend, UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS...”

But...

Oh my God, what is this? Good sense? On a Monday?

This needs approximately 10000 more stars. It’s so insistently, gratingly tone-deaf to repeatedly say “do it the easy way, and if you don’t do it the easy way it’s because you’re stupid” in the face of differences in preference, family demands, religion, cultural expectations, etc etc et fucking cetra. Tell you what,…

Yet you still need to tell your kids where the goddamn snacks are every single time they open the fridge. My 15-y-o honor student somehow cannot grasp that the deli meat is in the same freaking drawer it is always in, yes this time too, just like every other time since before she was freaking born and will hunt…

I went to Richard Branson’s private safari reserve in South Africa and the employees told us a hilarious story about how the last time he was there, he got piss drunk and fell into a pond.

I lost my uterus (I like to say “misplaced” b/c it gets good looks from people) a while back, and it’s a sucky thing to go through. Since I’m sure Kim K is scouring the Jez comments for advice, wink, here are some good things to focus on:
1. You’ll never have to buy tampons again, and you can re-purpose your existing…

Well, I’ve been consistently eating double stuff Oreos for over 30 years - five, seven oreos a week, and I have never gotten a concussion. Apparently the stuff is doubled with nanobubbles and electrolytes.

Researchers at Pennsylvania State University found that girls who have sex lose friends, while boys gain them. The opposite is true with “lighter” sexual behavior—girls who made out saw an increase in popularity, while boys took a hit.

“ah yes, i hear you workers like a refreshing lager after a hard day, just as i do”

what it said: Full disclosure: Ornstein was a professor of mine in graduate school.

Anti-Abortion Activists Climb Into Trash, Realize They’re Finally Home

Yes, far better than I’m capable of, frankly.

My wife and I were on the same ship as you, then this little nugget of joy came around this past June.

I hate America's Got Talent so much. That is all.

Jesus McChrist must have already been taken.

Absolutely. There’s a lot of valid criticisms one could make here. “SEE! ISRAEL HATES GAYS!” is not one of them.