That was the first of many pounds shared between them.

If you straighten out the paperclip, and stick it in the tiny hole on the West side of FirstEnergy Stadium, it will reset the Browns and they can start from scratch.

Craig Bjorn must be so, so proud.

Doctor: How would you describe the symptoms?

And the surgeon is facing charges for touching a Minor's dick ...

Jail tip: the whole fucking dick.

Regardless of how you pronounce it, whether it be with the er at the end or the arguably more colloquial a, it's safe to say we'll never see another Derek Jeter.

Huh. I thought the only n-word ESPN vigilantly avoided using was "NHL"

I think we should cut the guy some slack. I mean, this is only the first cousin that he's impregnated.

News and Notes from Fort Pierce Central High!

Police: Mr. Muhammed, why did you have sex with a 14 year old girl?

Louisville said coach Bobby Petrino "is aware of the situation."

I never thought I'd see the day that another Celina had her time tragically cut short in Texas. I guess those refs just couldn't wait to como off la floor.

That's weird. When I was a high schooler, it was usually the Argyle that got fucked.

Argyle is not to blame, but I would hate to see this turn into a pattern.

His ignorance and prejudice does have it's limits. For example, Elkington refuses to make fun of anyone with a handicap.

Sam: "I dunno, Coach. Even washed-up golfers are giving me shit. This is a really difficult time for me..."

a hacker is sending out tweets from my account - @elkpga

INTERVIEWER: After the disappointment of last year, I bet you can't wait for spring training to start.