"Oh do shut up, Selena" - Yolanda Saldivar

"During the second set of the match, Jankovic seemed to take issue with something that Williams was doing"

Proto-Nightmare Bear does not appear to have arms or legs in this photo. We prefer not to think about how he eventually procured some.

How far can you punt someone into the Kuiper belt?

ANNE MURRAY IS A MEDIOCRE SONGSTRESS!

One of the waitresses dropped her fanny pack as a tribute to Mark Sanchez.

Wow. Look at that set of boobs!

Fuck Ray Rice and his lawyer. If I have to side with a high-character running back, it'll be Ricky Williams 103 times out of 100.

If the shoe don't fit, on the play he must quit.

And, as the Milwaukee Bucks will attest, it's also been a horrible two days for fair faxes.

Since terrible things happen in threes one can only expect the next thing to happen to this poor bastard is the Redskins will re-sign him.

Police reported he was in a state of dystopia after leaving the Huxley nightclub, Rave New World.

Bob: "Do you have a point, Matt?"

Rob Ford Gets Air

I've got a neighbor who is all into this. He's got a bunker with a ten year supply of canned goods, so he's ready. He even gave me a tour. While I was down there, I stole his can opener though.

um, couldn't you save a lot of money by just buying a couple bullets and avoid being unlucky enough to survive?

"Zero."

Kate: Wolf!
Groggy roommate: Where?
Kate: No, just a regular one I think.

NO LONGER PICTURED: The Boy Who Cried

Walpole High is everything you imagined it would be.