Sadly, he did give up a homer in his pitching appearance this year.

Easy solution: just say he's a Canadian fuckface who hates everything fun. Or, honestly you could just say Canadian. Problem solved.

Considering his hometown is famous for throwing a banana at Wayne Simonds during a penalty shot/shootout shot during an exhibition game, it probably wouldn’t be far off what he’s already used to.

It would end up in Davis getting to first while striking out on a wild pitch.

Nah, Canada is pretty much in lockstep with the US. No political party wants to commit to ensuring indigenous communities have clean water or access to basic needs. Alberta’s United Conservative Party is currently shrugging about two party members being white nationalists. Quebec is doing everything in its power to…

When she tells him about her drawings, his face lights up so genuinely as well!

Doug Ford exists, so we’re still fucked in Ontario.

Which can be easily overcome by looking at position coaches! The NFL has this weird idea of a “quarterback guru”; a former QB who can turn some random 3rd day QB pick into a franchise guy. Except there are plenty of offensive-minded minority coaches coming from the RB, WR and OL pipeline (hi, Anthony Lynn!).

Did Vince Wilfork show his personality before or after he left New England? Because if so, I throw (well, roll) him into this debate.

Fuck the Blackhawks, fuck their racist fans, and fire Patrick Kane into the sun.

I mean, I’ve renewed government documents at a Canadian Tire. The stores are pretty versatile. Also, arguably, they were Bitcoin before Bitcoin (Canadian Tire Money).

Where’s the proof? There are no racist fans in Jacksonville!

Drew, just wanted to take this opportunity to (indirectly) thank you for sharing your thoughts, either via Deadspin, GQ or your novels. I have enjoyed the vast majority of your work, and am rooting for you! Best wishes to you, your family, and everyone at Deadspin who works with you.

His trusty steed, Carro de Bullpen.

It will go over more smoothly than when Nigeria tries to claim Yao Ming.

His brain would be put in so much conflict between his hate for minorities and his hate for Russians, he might get an aneurysm...

Yes, but all things considered, teams have relegated players to a corner infield spot to hide them forever. It would be ideal if he were a better outfielder, but I don’t think it would make him any more money.

There’s a bit of disagreement in his WAR depending on the source, as Fangraphs has him at 3.7 for last year.. The whole reasoning is weird (for some reason, neither Baseball Reference nor Fangraphs agree on their calculation), but BR tends to devalue Harper’s copious amount of walks (his OBP is 150 points higher than…

What are y’all reading?

No NFL team is going to want to play in a 30 year old dome, and the city isn’t going to bend over to give expensive land to a tenant who isn’t going to pay the large property taxes in place.