One day Republicans will realize what massive hypocrites their leaders are.

Didn’t Jim Jordan cancel a bunch of student athletes who reported sexual abuse by a team doctor at OSU?  

Shoot, I lived in Africa for 2 1/2 years where I could purchase people, slaves, between the price of $300 and $800 per person, per head depending on their age, health and physicality.”

Come on on folks. “These types of people” are so easy to spot.

100% real. The “divine phallus” was supposed to ward off the evil eye. . . in some depictions by literally ejaculating onto a disembodied eyeball.

“Call me Ishmael.”

For me it was a guy twice my age in a theater group. Walked home spitting in the gutter the whole way.

The Romans preferred to dangle a winged dick, known as a fascinus, from their chariots and carriages.

The important question is: did it have truck nutz?

He comes off a touch hyper-masculine.

You can’t fool me, that’s that asshole Tom Brady. 

To give you a sense of how big a prick he was, he managed to get 150 people (out of about 300 students total) to sign a complaint about his behavior. And he was only in school ONE semester.

“Also, I might have committed light treason.”

He has a face that just scams RUFIES! RAPE! AVOID, AVOID!

Is he white? Yup. Are women saying he’s a hot cripple (check twitter)? Yes. Is he conservative?

As the GOP base has demonstrated, all you need to do is be white, and repugnant to liberals.

He’s a perfect Trumplican!

A medal? Are you kidding me?! 

Pity he’s not a Democrat, then there would at least be a chance he’d have to resign. As it stands, I’m sure he’s in line for a GOP medal or something.