Luckily that doesn’t happen too much at my current attraction, but I once got to spiel into one of the Star Tours cabins that “this is a family park, not a make a family park” to a couple that was making out a little too much. Who has a makeout session on a flight simulator??

YES YES YES THAT IS WONDERFUL. Congratulations!!!!

I think I was some kind of fluke. My ex husband got my ring from a pawn shop for dirt cheap. Nobody told me I would be a beautiful bride; they made fun of me for being excited about planning my wedding so I pretended not to care and ended up with a budget church wedding that made me miserable. According to the data, I…

PEOPLE WHO GET OUT OF RIDE VEHICLES ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST

Sometimes I see entire families each holding up sticks and I’m just like STOPPPP. The good thing is that with the WDW ban they’ll get screened at bag check- people with selfie sticks have the option of leaving or checking the stick in at guest relations and can pick it up at the end of the night. Granted, I’m sure…

They just announced that all selfie sticks are banned in WDW and I AM SO HAPPY. SO. HAPPY. Those things are a menace.

And oh look! I’m here too.

It’s been well over a year since my ex husband dumped me, and I’m starting to think about dating again. I don’t know how to date, though- the ex and I were college sweethearts in a church-saturated environment and even though I got out of the church thing a while ago, my knee jerk reaction is to be terrified of…

I never get tired of this show. Ever. It’s clever and funny and weird and happy and I love it.

As an ambitious kindergartener I told my classmates I was a mermaid on the weekends. They believed me. (I also claimed to have a dog and that I was a tap dancer.)

My precious little cat is under the weather and I don’t know what to do. He’s four years old, fixed, hasn’t had any medical problems up till now. The past three days he’s been peeing outside of the litterbox; when he does use his box he stays in there for a lot longer than usual, and everything seems to be in smaller…

No but 20 minutes is actually a really impressive time to go from stuck to back on the ground. Cast members/attractions workers are not trained not authorized to assist guests in the situation, so that means in the span of 20 minutes they called 911, shut down the attraction, got all the other guests off the ride,…

Well, this is exactly what I wanted to hear.

Okay, yikes, a lot of assumptions happening here.

Are there any sites in particular that would be good for finding menfolk? I have absolutely 0 experience with this. (My ex was my only boyfriend ever; we started dating at 19.)

One of my former students is now married and announced her pregnancy today and all I can think is that I’m sitting here in my underwear eating onion rings while watching Law and Order with my cat. I don’t regret ending my marriage to my heinous asshole of an ex (actually I regret not doing it sooner) but now I’m just…

Oh lord, this is how I live my life. This is what happens when you work in Florida and have to wear black pants and a hideous polyester blazer while running around.

That’s it exactly!! And teachers going around with measuring tapes to make sure everyone had 1” or wider straps on their dresses.

I’m sure there were plenty of classmates who went out and got rowdy afterwards, but I was the epitome of Sheltered Baptist Child and lived in a bubble where sex and drugs and alcohol only happened at Heathen Public Schools. I mean...I styled my hair my senior to look like Cosette’s from Les Mis. On purpose. Oh, it was…

THIS GIF IS EVERYTHING.