This is a fucking terrible time to be a cast member.

My mother never intentionally insulted my looks- but I was short and plump and the puberty fairy gave me boobs super early, while my younger sister was tall and thin and built like a two by four. And this the era of tight baby tees and low slung jeans, so no favors were done here. Every time I picked something up, my…

I posted this in a different thread yesterday, but here are my costumes from both this year and last year. (I’m making up for a Baptist childhood with no Halloweens.)

Oh man...I wasn’t allowed to do Halloween or watch Disney movies as a child, so naturally now that I’m an adult I go to Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween party multiple times a year. These are last year’s and this year’s costumes, because I’m a crazy person.

I know I tend to only complain about my ex when I’m on open threads, but today I got thrown for a new loop. I went in to renew my car registration only to find that there were still things left over from the wreck that totaled my first car two years ago. See, my husband had been insisting for a year that I was…

I tell people it's after the bicycle race.

I MISREAD THAT AS TOM HANKS.

I used to teach at a school five minutes away. That's terrifying.

The first two seasons of Glee were super fun. And then...it just needed to stop.

I’VE GOTTEN THE DOME QUESTION TOO! I also had an elderly gentleman tell me he was going to tell the internet about how it was raining at Disney and I ruined his vacation.

(it’s SO much fun!!)

YES.

Kindergarten teacher!!

According to the books I’ve read potatoes are a myth, but if you find one it’s an excellent cure for vorpentitis.

I spent today training in a new role at my job and oh sweet baby Jesus in a breadbasket I am exhausted. It’s so much fun but requires a lot of running up and down stairs in heels and shooting a firearm and shouting. I love it, but I’m also super tired now.

I am so sad for you and your makeup. That’s a terrible thing!! But at least you have an excuse to buy new exciting stuff, right??

I was looking at that one!! Is it super glittery? I like wearing a champagne shimmer but for work I usually avoid sparkles. (when I’m not at work though ALL THE SPARKLES.)

I’m in dire need of makeup advice. DIRE.

It was weird. We both went to the same church, but he’d been there longer, so everyone was super excited for him but everybody was like “haha, you’re going to be engaged for three years, you’re going to be such a bridezilla, amirite?” to me.

This guy!! :)