For Colts Fans, Forever Ago.

Brock Osweiler is out there somewhere, waiting to lose the backup job to a receiver who played QB in high school once.

Black tie doesn’t mean wear a black suit. Black tie means you need to wear a tuxedo. Unless you are carrying a coffin, a dark blue suit will be fine at a funeral, and even then, you will be fine because you are wearing a dark color and showing respect.

What does this even mean? The entire city is to blame for a shitty logo on a baseball hat?

If the Browns lose tomorrow? If it’s Sunday, the Browns are losing.

This is why Luther is always talking about drugs use.

Tebow’s going to really regret this when Trump appoints someone else Secretary of Transfiguration.

Heads up. Cavs split the season series with the Spurs. That might be a pretty even matchup.

I liked how Steph didn’t get called for bear hugging Lebron literally a millisecond before he pushed him. Really satisfying.

Every year at Christmas mom starts Bedazzler the sweater she wants you to wear in the kooky family photo. You can’t change her mind, “Fuck you, you’re getting a fucking embellishment,” she says, and adds another glittering candycane to your sweater.

Wave Top Ten

Bags Grabs Old Bag’s Bags.

It solves a lot of problems by being an ugly jacket. Not sure if that’s a tradeoff I am willing to make.

How did I miss Marisa Tomei’s last fuckable day picnic?

Just like in WWII.

This just in, Dan Gilbert has bought the Bucks and plans to move them to the Cleveland Cavaliers bench.

You really Cleveland’d that joke.

Maybe Durant doesn’t want to live in Miami? This is a millionaire who spends most of his life on the road. It’s not like he’s moving there for a job that ties him to a desk.

Really cool that the two Guardian Angels showed up to provide security. I always feel safer on the subway when one of those guys is standing near the door eating a burrito.

As Delly said, the tape’s there. In the meantime the Hawks, which I now must assume is your favorite team, got embarrassed in an elimination game. Back to dick jokes and bad puns: