Both chuck toys haphazardly around the field, yet fake-peter man gets thrown in jail while Nate Peterman is starting on Sunday. 

Incorrect, black tie indicates a tuxedo, and you will stand out if you’re simply wearing a black suit.
If you’re going to call people poor, you should know that.

Yes. The key is that black suit does not equal black tie. In any case where a black suit would be acceptable, navy or charcoal would also be fine. Black tie requires a tuxedo.

If you are going to own only two suits, make none of them black. Black suits make you look like a waiter and no one goes to enough funerals to make it otherwise worth it. Best to go with navy blue and a dark gray.

You sound kind of miserable, man. Perhaps a walk?

I don't understand the logic: Leave terrible team to join team with championships written all over it, then leave that team to go to an arguably more dysfunctional team than the one you left before. You guys are dreaming if you think Love is leaving Cleveland for the Lakers.

He yanked down on his arm hard enough to dislocate his shoulder. It was intentional.

I’ll allow this.

Pretty sure that's just how he eats his popcorn.

I have a house to sell, so there’s that.

Why are you still there if it is an ex? Are you hoping Manziel goes back into rehab and she’ll have to take you back?

These Cavaliers remain deeply flawed

BGSU is in Ohio.

I think the best buy in Rye is Rittenhouse 100 proof bonded. So good, so not-overpriced.

Really splits your head open.

After "oh yeah," the undercover officer gave the signal for the arrest team to move in and arrest Anthony.

On the Origin of Speciousness

If there is one group of people that have been consistently, violently, and systemically discriminated against in the US, it's Christian, conservative, wealthy, middle-aged white men. Since Curt can't count himself among this group, he's probably full of shit.

and gave a bunch of money to Mitt Romney's campaign.

Of course Curt Schilling isn't gonna listen to a bunch of old geezer sportswriters. Why would he start paying attention to fossils now?