Honestly I’m shocked she has a staff.

She also believes in fat shaming and praying the fat away, and as a fat atheist I think she can go fuck herself.

She needs to go away to her crystals 

Also: his notes. He had great notes on the Sanders campaign.

It’s almost too cute to be real.

If Stern’s kitteh is reported stolen, don’t come looking at my house. Don’t know nuthin’ about it.

Its peakier Florida when two meth-heads get into an argument and start throwing crabs at each other in the middle of the street and get run over by by a senile retiree from Long Island.

Its peak florida when someone tries to (1) use them to pay for coors light and Newports at a 7-11, (2) have them babysit a toddler and/or alligator (3) feed them meth.

So what if a disease is psychosomatic? Really. The suffering is real all the same.

Peak Florida is when an Alligator drives a Dodge Charger on 22's through your living room while high on bath salts.

“pfftt...Amateurs.”

...did...did this actually...happen to you?

This is peak suburban non-lethal wildlife Florida.

not every animal appreciates ass sniffs ya know

Tired of the scourge of Florida Men, Florida crabs are taking matters into their own hands.

and somehow this isn’t even peak Florida

Nepotism Barbie is desperate to be taken seriously. She wants to be seen as polished, educated and well-informed. Then she opens her mouth and you realize she’s her father but in prettier packaging. She’s as fake as those giant veneers in her mouth.

“As we grieve over the evil mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton, let us not overlook that Chicago experienced its deadliest weekend of the year.”

“The only difference is the meager illusion of grace.”

And fuck this bitch, too.