Whenever I’m having a work poo I console myself with the fact that I’m shitting on company time and I feel better about it!

I had to clean up someone’s poop today at work. It wasn’t in the customer washroom, it was in an aisle. Not an embarrassing mess of diarrhea that could not be stopped, but rather a little lump of definitely human turds carefully squeezed out, and some kleenex they had wiped with, neatly left in an out of the way…

Plus sphinx have all kinds of riddles where you die if you get it wrong. That’s pretty sweet.

Yeah, I mean whatever skin is left is where the makeup goes. With robots, I think it’s more decals or like, paint

I was definitely picturing the chicken feet house wrong and I’m so glad this picture corrected me. That house is fucking AWESOME.

Yeah! Plus I don’t wanna shave my legs no more! I think a satyr look can bring me closer to this being trendy and cool

Wooooooo! Can’t over pluck a unibrow into baldness! You can ruin your damn eyebrows if you go too hard in the actual brow area, but that middle ground will. not. die.

Good thing kelpies aren’t real because I knew so many horse obsessed girls back in the day who would have cheerfully run to pet the suspicious fanged swamp horse that has just suddenly appeared from beneath the murky water.

Vampires: basically, it’s just a juice cleanse

Hey, eating a whole one certainly can bring you a mix of pleasure and pain. The pain being mostly that lump of dough sitting in your stomach causing all kinds of queasy discomfort. I admit it’s not as hardcore as flayed skin but still, it’s no fun.

Food is not where the glitter is supposed to go. Fucking SAUSAGES are not where glitter is supposed to go.

And everyone complained when their favourite actor wasn’t cast as Christian Grey! Like seriously, would you really want to watch your fave uttering cringy dialogue like that?

That is so awful it’s giving me hives. Why? Why add a baby into the mix? So this scene can happen? It’s not a great scene and the dialogue is as shitty as ever!

Oh no no no. Posters on the ceiling is only for teenagers. Once you hit 20 you gotta put them on a wall (and by the time you are 30 any remaining posters from your youth should be in a frame or something)

Seriously, like CAN we eat the rich? How do we get that started? What would be a good recipe even, they all look so insufferably bitter.

That room is depressing. It looks like a mirrored cave that was decorated to look like the late 80s. I can smell the damp and the chlorine through the picture

Ooof, that track lighting. Look, I’m on board for the carpet, the glass and chrome, that painted ceiling, even the awful colour of the walls. But like, there is no excuse for ugly lighting fixtures

so often they throw a splash of red into the mix and it does NOT work. If you’re gonna do that Jazz coffee cup design, but as an interior, you have to ban red from the premises entirely. Zero tolerance for red.

That house must have been a real boon to the glass block industry.

Those sofas are magnificent!! To be fair, I do have a thing for hideous upholstery