Omg is that circle couch included?????

You gotta call them a pet name back, I’m convinced it’s the only thing that works. Some man calls you girlie? Call him son right back. Get a thanks babe from a stranger? Give him a “no problem kitten”

Nothing like a Gap commercial to remind me how lame khakis are.

Yeah I don’t even like seeing dog poop in bags just sitting abandoned on the street, and dogs regularly poop outside so it’s not unexpected. Human poop in a bag on the street is just depressing af

Reaching into a date’s toilet is just begging a whole heap of embarrassing mischief to befall you.

I mean, given where she was found, you’d kinda have to own up to it at that point right?

Bean bags have real beans in them? The more you know!

Kid Rock makes me think of staph infections so that’s a big no on wanting to eat at any restaurant affiliated with him. I don’t care if he’s not actually in the kitchen, he’s gross. He’s just a gross person. He looks like a guy who doesn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom on principle.

Yeah but Michelle and Barack would both be right in there meeting with real people affected by the flood. They’d know what clothes would be the best in that situation because they would actually be thinking about the people in that situation instead of the lovely backdrop those people will provide during photo op time.

The more damage there is, the more interesting this whole situation will be! Think of the ratings!

I mean, wedges exist and would be slightly less impractical for trudging over mucky, flooded out ground.

People say that dogs never judge you, but mine definitely has some critiques about my 1 person dance parties.

Ugh I hope not! That would mean there are a bunch of them, all exactly the same.

It’s just so important for kids to have access to glasses and eye care. I hope Gwen Stefani realizes that needing glasses isn’t the worst thing in the world, and maybe she’ll realize how hard it can be for other families who need them and struggle. All the pairs I’ve outgrown have been donated so they can go on to…

Ugh, right now is like if 1984 and Brave New World had a baby.

Right? It’s almost a super power. Omg you just wake up and you can see? Like some kinda X Man?

What’s really heartbreaking is children who need glasses but their families can’t afford them. They are fucking expensive and often the prescription changes as your kid grows so they need new lenses every couple of years. They are essential for a kid to do their best in school. It’s also not something often covered by…

Hell, I have a tiara from Claire’s that is just wire and fake swarovski crystals and I wear it around my apartment just for fun all the time. It’s the fancy way to keep your hair out of your eyes, like a headband, but for sweatpants princesses!

Ooh, you’ll be nice and toasty and the only nighttime farts you’ll have to worry about are your own!

I mean, that’s something a good blanket will do, no frustrating, constantly falling short partner required