Kellyanne Conway reminds me of a customer trying to put one over on a cashier. Like, she’s trying to return a dress that she has clearly worn and spilled wine on, and claim that it was sold to her already stained with wine. And she’s dancing around the truth, and claiming she never noticed the wine, and making up some…

“Other than golf, [Trump] considers exercise misguided, arguing that a person, like a battery, is born with a finite amount of energy.”

The screenplay Pirates of the Caribbean 8: Haunted Boat Show was never going to win awards anyway, but I still think Depp can go right to hell anyway for being a massive tool.

Just more excellent reasons to never see another Johnny Depp movie. I may not have fancy fucking wine money, but the money I do have is too good to spend on listening to that prick halfass it through a mediocre piece of shit. Ditto my time.

I mean, isn’t that pretty standard for former presidents/first ladies? They do talks and get paid to speak for different causes or organizations. I cannot believe he’s catching shit for ehat seems like a standard gig after your time in the white house is done.

Feeling extra sorry for the lady riding a horse in her bathing suit. Horses are a long pants activity.

Stop. Trotting Out. The Lemonade. Story.

I’m disappointed he’s not doing one of his stock poses with his wife.

And also that they have to be making a weird noise every step.

Cut just so, to dig into the top part of your boobs, oh yay.

I could do without the matchy little neckerchief though.

That thing is a fucking joke! Like, the person who spends money on that is the punchline.

Hmmm setting up a lemonade stand in an area where there is no foot traffic is the kind of bad business idea we’ve come to expect from Trumps. Like father like kids!

Or the kids made the lemonade themselves and left a massive mess behind them for one of the staff to clean up. The kind of mess that does not seem possible for one pitcher of lemonade. Yay.

Shit, I know right? My bosses don’t even like it when people take more than one bathroom break during an 8 hour shift.

Like why waste your time? He should just have a conversation with himself and imaginary you alone, in his head so that the real you can just get on with your day in peace.

A more severe than usual reaction to the cooties is my guess.

They’re better when they’re moving around, that’s for sure. Seeing all of their stock poses rounded up is definitely not helping.

And that’s why you don’t cheap out on a cursed portrait.

Riding around on a motorcycle with no bra? No thanks!