Dildochugger is excellent, but next time I do a Worst Customers there’s one that’s even better.

I had two bosses at Borders before I managed the place. One was legitimately insane and routinely threw books at me.

One guy we had in particular would ALWAYS find something wrong with his food. He would order everything as take out, and then once he got the food home would call and complain that something wasn’t right or something was missing.

Might read it.

THIS GIVES MY SINGLE, LOVELESS LIFE HOPE!!!!

Did you just yadda yadda yadda sex? (please get the seinfeld reference)

I’m on the road so I don’t have access to my yearbook, but my senior portrait is neither good nor bad. It’s just an okay picture. The rest of my senior photo shoot turned out HORRIBLE though. I was so excited to have a bunch of pictures taken that I went with the fanciest shoot- like 30 different poses and 3 outfits…

But can you imagine the early 2000s? Like, frosted tips and belly shirts, Delilah sweaters and cargo pants?!

I don’t have access to mine right now, but I do have a story!!!

Anyone who graduated in the 80’s has a massively unfair advantage here.

THAT SHOULDER.

So its not embarrassing really, but I didn’t realize how goddamn SEXUAL my photo was until much later on...

Um, team #ALLTHEMAKEUP. As I say to my "natural makeup" loving partner: "Um, yeah you're gonna know I'm wearing makeup, and then you're gonna tell me it looks great."

With a glass of Captain Morgan's.

I’ve only been to TIFF once. My friend -really- wanted to go to this one movie, and bought us premier tickets. We decided since it was a premier, we’d dress up. To the nines. I actually got my hair did, he wore a suit, I had on “the little black dress.” We looked -good-. And I guess we looked like we were some bodies,…

I see the picture, but I don’t get it...

I used to get phone calls from bill collectors for my ex-boyfriend who actually is dead. Once, his mother got a series of phone calls from the City of Oakland regarding a ticket he had failed to deal with when he lived there. After calmly informing her that he was, in fact, deceased, the lady making the phone calls…

i pretended to be socially and emotionally well adjusted for awhile but convinced no one

Nah, that’s actually pretty cool. I had a “bar name” all during my wilder youth, and sometimes made up personas to go along with it. I regret nothing. Also, I’m quite positive that Chris Elliott hit on me in a bar one night and convinced me he was the reptile specialist at the NC Museum of Natural Science. Frankly, it…

Isn’t that... more like a calf cuff that an ankle cuff??