C'mon Anna, this is a guy who con't tell the difference between a loofah and a falafel. You can't expect him to have a keen grasp of geography.

Anything that brings someone happiness, by definition, cannot be unhealthy. I bet the gains people get from lowered stress level more than offset the heart attack risk—-Julia Child lived to 92 on rich French food, after all.

yup I would wear the fuck out of some Levi's if they had a higher rise and longer leg. Also, those trucker jackets made for someone who isn't 5'2? All over it.

None of the plus size jeans seem to come in longer inseams. Apparently all fat girls are supposed to be short.

Ditto on the inseams.

I would wear Levi's if they stocked their more interesting jeans in longer inseams. I think it was last year they released a line of bold-colored jeans, and I really wanted some, but they all came in some ridiculous inseam like 28 that would literally be pedal-pushers on me. If I want plain blue or black jeans in…

My grandfather's prediction from the 1940s is finally coming true: dungarees were just a passing fad.

The stories here are great but, I'm not going to lie, my favourite part was the "Part One" in the title.

Come on now. Everyone knows that cut toast releases powerful and potentially deadly gluten fumes.

In his case, he looks at all the gluten as he's eating it.

I don't see what's dumb about customer No. 3. If you're watching your gluten, surely the safest thing is to store it in your stomach so it doesn't get lost?

As someone who comes from a culture without restaurants, whole wheat, or hazelnuts, I am personally deeply offended at the way my brethren are being mocked just for not understanding the intricacies of American dining practices.

Whaaaaaaaat? No rumpsore comments yet?

The Whole Wheat Toast is the best, because it was so obvious once I read it fully, but at that same time I had no idea of the punchline until the end.

She's clearly allergic to 45-degree angles.

'I ASKED FOR WHOLE WHEAT FOUR TIMES' made me cackle so loudly it scared the cats. She must be married to Mr. Monogrammed Thermoses.

"I ORDERED WHOLE WHEAT TOAST FOUR TIMES AND YOU GUYS KEEP CUTTING IT IN HALF!"

Apparently, all of the servers in these stories have met my mother.