In other shitty NFL juxtapositions, Katy Perry is....THE MORE YOU KNOW.

Yeah, but Dr. Moreau had an island, too.

fwd: Amber Tamblyn

bcc: Katie Holmes

Childhood crushes are a dangerous thing. Date your childhood crush, you put on blinders about how he's the weirdest person in the world.

Nope, I love your 9 year old self. Screw security, you were awesome!

This is the best story I got:

Ringo Starr yelled at me in an airport when I was seven years old.

No one will top this. It is my friends' favorite story to tell at parties because no one can ever beat it:

Oooh fun... I have a couple. My husband has good stories, too, because he works in music, but I won't steal any of his. Mine include:

We have a winner. Shut it down.

met Nelson Mandela a month before he passed away

It's not insane per se but it was the coolest thing ever! I've been chronically ill since 4. Loads of kidney problems, autoimmune disorders, etc. A lot of pain. A lot of sleepless nights. That's how I got into old movies. If you're in pain & awake at 4am TCM is the only thing on. I LOVE old movies. I pray to Bogart &…

Circa 2002? Maybe 2003.

I was the Room Service Coordinator at a casino in Atlantic City, NJ. My job consisted of taking orders via phone, creating the checks, assigning servers, and closing the checks. Room service also handled all the amenities for the shows, so I've been on the phone with an assortment of…

Better late than never, and most definitely should've posted this story sooner but here it goes. I do promise this will make you smile.

I spent an incredibly surreal Father's Day dinner seated with my parents at a table next to OJ Simpson, his older daughter, the two kids he had with Nicole Brown, his mother, and some girlfriend that was probably younger than his oldest daughter.

I was thinking about their love songs and how they're actually perfectly honest reflections on the way that most 23 year-old dudes view love. To them, true romance is a girl who comes to all of your shows and doesn't expect anything back from you.

YEAH. I was "punk rock" in high school, which basically means I wore shiny combat boots from Hot Topic and knew who Rancid was. I had a boyfriend who made me glue his hair (glue.) into a mohawk. I thought Blink 182 "sold out", which in retrospect is completely hilarious. But then, most things you do at 13 end up being…

The cops found her with at least three times the legal level of melanin in her system.

She's still on house arrest, so excuse me for not applauding the justice system. The same justice system that decided the Zimzam was well within his legal rights to stalk and kill an unarmed child.