I kept reading polish week as Polish week, in which case I imagine the prep is less manicure and more:

If my partner's sister tried to cut my hair as I slept, I know I'd be allowed to kick her ass.

I'm pretty sure that a beat down was in order. Maybe it's because I'm black and our hair is an issue dejour, but I would have beat the shit out of her. And my (fictitious) husband probably would have understood and been okay with said beatdown of his sister. I don't get why anyone would think that it's okay to cut…

I know one thing, if my husband acted like someone physically harming me was no big deal, he wouldn't be my husband much longer.

That's assault and I would call the police for sure.

I have some scissors that would do it.

Not a lot, just the tip.

"It's not wild chicken."

I wish California was closer. I think I love these people and want to eat their food.

"And here is our garden."

I posted an adult list of mishaps but I forgot life best and it deserves it's own post:

Holy shit. I think you have just solved my neck/shoulder pain!

I was intermittently getting horrible neck and shoulder pain for a while in my 20s — to the degree that I'd be stiff and extremely sore for a couple of days. Then I spent a few days visiting OOT friends, flew home super hungover and spent the next two days just hanging out in the bed with novels and snacks. Woke up…

Kenna needs to slow the fuck down.

When my little sister was much younger - like 5, I think - my mom decided a cute activity for the two of us to do would be to pick flowers from the garden and make flower prints on fabric. If you pound fresh flowers into linen or canvas with a good amount of force, the pigment from the petals comes off and, once you…

When I was 12, I was testing out some superfly dance moves in the shower while grabbing the towel bar at the end of the tub for balance. Like you do. I slipped and grabbed the bar harder, and the extra stress of my weight pulled the bar out of the wall and brought a chunk of tile along for the ride.

I tripped and slammed head first into the corner of my kitchen wall. Got a huge bump which turned into a killer black eye. About a week later, I burst a blood vessel in my eye. Of course, I documented this for twitter because it was cool in a gross kinda way:

I used to be a varsity athlete. During one tournament, I had a lower-body injury and was not allowed to play, so my coach sent me to go do a light workout on an arm ergometer (which is like a stationary bike for your upper body). I was sitting on a stability ball working away on the arm ergometer when a song came on…

One night as a senior in high school I was high as a kite with a group of attractive men. As the night wore on I started making out with one of them and almost immediately started to have trouble breathing.