If you can't come up with a better way to keep someone out of a (Yes, I don't care if you don't want to use the word, the rest of us will) crime scene, especially a terrified and grief-stricken 14 year old girl than a grown man taking her down in a football tackle, then handcuffing that same child and putting her in…

I wish this analogy were not true...

I'd say as early as possible. If you lived in that town in Canada that's overrun with polar bears (which happily kill and eat people), you wouldn't wait to tell them polar bears are dangerous and how to avoid being killed by one. You'd drill that lesson into their heads the minute they were born.

Why was it a crime scene? The cops already know who shot the kid.

Depends... are the Low Points minorities?

Q: How many cops does it take to kick a poor person down the stairs?


A: He fell.

when i was first hooking up with my first girlfriend i kept stopping to pee

It is 2015. 2015. Twenty Fifteen. Twennnnntyyyy Fifteeeeeen.

I squirt. It doesn't smell like pee. It has no color. One time a little pee came out and it was noticeable. Because it smelled. And it was yellow. But day-to-day it is clear, it doesn't stain the sheets, and it has absolutely no smell.

Yes, exactly. I'm wearing it today.

GLAMTRAN #2 is also suitable for hungover days at the office. The eye makeup says "I am totally awake and definitely do not need to barf!" and the lipstick says "There is no way I could possibly have this much lipstick on and also have just barfed, I'm clean! CLEAN!"

Congratulations!

Do they have to provide their own mayo?

I have a penis shaped bottle opener in my home, and the last time my mother was visiting, she picked it up, looked at it, and said, "This man must be abusing steroids. Look at how small the testicles are in comparison to his penis! He should get that checked out."

I don't understand why this is a question.

Packing what? His pet hamster?