As I stated in my game changing theory above, no I do not. This is a robot. John Mayer is a robot who has been using photo manipulation for the past decade or so to pose as a human. This photo has pulled the lid off the lie.

Maybe he's been getting extreme plastic surgery like the Human Ken Doll guy.

You notice that crime isn't somehow spiraling out of control, though.

I wonder if Ellen is going to comment on this on her show, and if so what she might say...

As a New Yorker, the NYPD has been scaring the shit out of me. There's a part of me that's a little scared to go home to my apartment in Brooklyn at the end of this week. Things like this are what you would expect to happen in a police state. They've literally stopped arresting people since the two officers were…

Not doing things that we sometimes want to do is the hallmark of being an honest-to-God grownup. Impulse control.

They got filmed choking a man to death and there were no legal consequences. Why would they care if they get filmed?

WOULD I HAVE FOUND IT ANNOYING?

And again, there is no crime here.

I'm black, male, and have never been to NYC.

Utah's state motto has been "Grab your dick and double click!" since, oh, 1995.

i don't understand reddit :( i am old

i

my mother literally looks like kim jong un in all the family pictures she was in since she hit puberty

True. But Suzanne is right that Piper soooo wasn't worth it.

Uzo also makes excellent lipstick choices:

I have said from Season 1 that Piper's biggest mistake was not her criminal past, nor was it her big and toxic love for Alex. Her biggest goodam mistake was turning down Suzanne, and not becoming half of the Crazy Eyes/Dandelion federal prison power couple they could have been.

you is gay, but that is okay. Gay like blowjob too

I sang this along to a little tune in my head. Like a Sesame Street singalong about acceptance and how everyone is different but the same.

Momador,

this is everything and is written by bae isha and NOT BAE COLIN REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE MEAN TO ME/WOULDNT ANSWER MY SALAD QS ON TWITTER and Keeping Up with Growing Pains: The Unauthorized Kirk Cameron/Bruce Jenner Love Story I NEED DIS