I apologize for my insensitivity and my repeatedly referring to your husband incorrectly as a "bouncy ball"

that "odd stress ball" is my husband

No one said "Queen Bea" yet? Fine, I'll do it.

Wonderful. Although when I read bios on people like Ms. Cohen, it tends to make me look in the mirror and think, "LOSER!" But god bless Bea, you badass.

maybe 7. it looks like a thin lady bent over all ~schmexyyyy~

EIGHT IS FAT KATE GET WITH IT

I need No-Red guy to go on a date with Allergic-to-Crunchy woman.

Regarding secret shoppers: Editor's Note: There is no screening process. Any idiot can — and usually does — sign up for that job

I once had a friend refuse to eat a slice of lemon pound cake because I mentioned I'd used my homemade vanilla in it (like 2 tsp in the whole cake). She doesn't drink, and when she learned that my homemade vanilla is vanilla beans in vodka, she declined the cake. I explained that unless powdered vanilla is used, all…

When I was in Europe, selling monogrammed thermoses, THEY would cook my steaks for me until it was tender, no matter how long it took. Americans are so lazy sometimes.

if a customer wants you to grill a steak until it gets tender, you grill it until it gets tender

if you want to donate I have a GoFundMe site set up for his legal expenses. I volunteer for Arnold and Love Thy Neighbor. I cook. And serve. I am also on the Board. We are a small, private, non profit that receives no govt funding. We would really appreciate all the help we can get. Link- http://www.gofundme.com/gwt6…

Don't know if this is visible out of the grays, but I got your back:

Omfg now I kind of want to get a cat just so I can name it Burlap.

Poor little Cotton. I just want you to know that we, your brothers and sisters, are all praying for your safe return.

That photo of Rick Scott proves he really is Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

I'm making that balogna-ranch cake from Pinkham's last post. I'm also getting divorced.

this is literally what your insides look like.

"For one thing, election day should replace Columbus Day as a federal holiday"

In 2008 when Barack Obama was elected and Dems controlled both houses, making Election Day a holiday is EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE.