I live in Traverse City- the town where Madonna's brother is a well known homeless man and her family owns a vineyard. He is well known to people in town and clearly has mental issues. This is an old story here because the family has actually tried to help him so many times and every time he goes off again he attacks…

I'm trying to decide if I'd rather be a "Muppet face ass" or "trout mouth ass bitch" and I think I'd rather be a Muppet face ass, but there's room for debate.

Shit. I was so determined to loathe Ed Sheeran for all eternity. :-|

Like, 13 years ago, I got arrested for "borrowing" an RV that was for sale in my neighbors yard. He had left the keys in the ignition. My pal and I (totally sober btw) decided to take it for a spin around the block. When we got back the cops were waiting for us. My neighbor didn't press charges. He actually kinda…

no shame here, only pride: in response to your guinea pig photo, I present my boyfriend's uncanny-valley, animal onesie costume.

While in college, I got the brilliant idea to go spend Halloween with my friend at UC Santa Barbara. UCSB at Halloween is utter and complete madness. Hoards of people everywhere; you can just wander in and out of house parties you weren't invited to. I'm sure everybody's shit gets stolen.

The only thing worse than a walk of shame is a bike ride of shame.
I was in the Netherlands and went to a party dressed as a tiger, complete with stripes and tail. Went home with a hot local, enjoyed myself thoroughly, and the next morning I had to leave early as he went to rowing practice. Unfortunately the dude…

Not Halloween, but I was in Vancouver during the infamous Stanley Cup riot and ended up picking up some dude in the middle of it all. The next morning, taking the train home (I had started out early the previous day, so I at least had sunglasses with me) and thinking "Well, yes, I'm still wearing my team-colours blue…

My freshman year of college I rented out a room in a 10 bedroom house one block off of greek row. My roommates and I decided to throw a huge party for halloween and there was a steady stream of revelers in and out of the house all night long, party hopping. There was one girl with the coolest DIY costume I'd ever…

Oh god

Not exactly a walk of shame, but...

When I was in college, my roommate and I went to some Halloween party with a girl from our dorm. The next morning, she comes walking up to the common area still in her eighties-prom outfit. We asked her where she ended up staying the night...she lifts up her dress to reveal her yellow thighs and says "Bart Simpson…

And this is how I picture RA Kirk.

Freshman year of college, I go as Slutty Alice in Wonderland, because "college."

I didn't see this one, but rather I lived it. My costume was "Roller Girl", complete with old school skating rink roller skates. There was a "gentleman" whose attention I had commanded—he didn't live in the city that I did, so I accompanied him to his hotel. After a few hours of sleep, I decided it was time to make my…

Kirk sounds like a shining exemplar of assertiveness.

My ruby slippers left a trail of craft glitter all the way from the train to my front door the next morning.

One guy got busted by the RA on the day after Halloween, dressed as a pirate swigging Captain. Guy stayed in character. 'Arrrrrrggg' and 'Write up' were thrown around a lot. Captain Tim, you forever have my respect. RA Kirk, you were destined to lose that fight.

I'd say it's far more likely that the woman was in such a rage lather that she didn't want to admit she was wrong. One thing I've learned in life is to never blame malice when stupidity is just as good of an explanation.

Bird flu.