When I saw "Truly Great Customers" in true Kitchenette style I was expecting to hear tales of the truly depraved... however what I got was 4 heartwarming tales of human decency.

Yes, but mostly because my muscles down there are apparently so strong I basically shoot the tampon out while pooping. I'm not really given much choice. After-the-fact TMI Alert.

I don't always, but when I do, it's because the pooping muscles were ejecting the tampon anyway.

#thingsionlysayonline

#9 is "Do you take your shirt off to poop?" AND 9% OF PEOPLE SAID YES WHO ARE THESE CRAZIES

Dress skinny? Face it, fellow commuters: you're lucky if I dress clean.

"no vaseline isn't home right now would u like to leave a message"

Vaseline Chibatta Fluffy Princess.

Hey Jude

remember

hey jude

What's wrong with being a dick-sucking whore?

Just the Tips is the best name for a DIY show ever.

Who is this man?? I'm overwhelmed by how attracted I am to him.

I just watched the micro-penis episode of New Girl, so I'd like to say that we all have micro-penises. They may not be physical, but they are all there. My micro-penis is that I never finished college. This is not a serious comment for everyone boiling with rage right now.

The man once known as MARK SHRAYBER decides what you consider newsworthy.

Nobody cares about your (tiny) stupid boner.

Lies. There were zero kittens in that video. All grown cats.

Today, we are all surfers...

Presby hospital is 5 miles down the road from my apartment and this nurse's apartment complex is 3 blocks away from mine. All are on the same street. I feel like Ebola is just traveling down Greenville STRAIGHT TO ME.