We lived together for 6 years. As we were breaking up, he said "I never meant for it to get this serious."

You dated The Situation?

That's a star for you, honey, and you can use the pokey ends to jab that asshole in the eye.

Since my tale of how I flew to Canada to get laid failed to even get me out of the greys last week, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how my Canadian beau broke up with me when I got there. It's pretty raunchy and I apologize in advance.

2 days before Valentine's day, we're sitting at our local bar and somehow get onto a conversation that basically goes like this "you make me miserable." "omg! you make me miserable too!" "want to go to Red Lobster? I have a gift certificate." "YES." Then we went to Red Lobster for our 'breakup dinner' and ordered the…

I was in Large European City, for a class I was taking with a bunch of other undergraduates from my Small Canadian College. We were living together in a skinny four-story flat. With me was the boy I had lost my virginity to and was subsequently half-heartedly dating: nice enough, almost funny, terrible in bed (though…

I am in a serious but long-distance relationship. It's been a year with this guy and already I'm been planning my wedding vows and my dress and how I'll communicate with this mom, who has a thick foreign accent, for the rest of my life.

Exboyfriend pulled my favorite book of love poems (E.E. Cummings ftw) off my bookshelf and asked me to show him the ones I liked the most. He interrupted a minute or so into flipping through them together to say we couldn't be together anymore. He explained that a breakup discussion was related to romance so he…

Reminded me of this

You should be recognized for your sheer tenacity, if nothing else.

So I read the third sentence of paragraph two as "he came all over my place," and was expecting that to be the reason for the breakup.

My last boyfriend and I dated unofficially for a year then officially for a year. He dumped me in a text while I was on the Megabus to NYC for a week of job interviews. I had just seen him two days before so this seemed a little fucked up/inappropriate. I cried in Pret A Manger for a couple hours then tried to pull it…

My most bonkers breakup story is when I broke up with my ex-fiance years ago. We were high school sweethearts and he proposed to me my freshman year of college. Everything was blissful until one day as we were trying to decide how to break it to my parents (my mom hated him and insisted on calling him "that boy") when…

This isn't so much a terrible breakup as the way that I first understood how much you could let someone completely break your spirit. When I was in college, I was at a conservative, small liberal arts college with a great business school. I didn't fit in at all (I was liberal, middle class and not wealthy, had to…

Well, I fear this might be a bit long winded but here goes nothing. In another lifetime (my early 20's) I had a "throw caution to the wind", overly dramatic, ultra bohemian relationship with a guy who actually left his fiance for me. He was a "playwright", which for the uninitiated ranks below musician, which he also…

I was in what I thought was a pretty great relationship with a cool dude. We lived together, and everything was happy and good. We were in the happy honeymoon phase of the relationship, which is what makes this even more strange. We both worked 9-5 jobs, and one day we were texting each other as usual throughout the…

I have a breakup story about a dickish guy, but what pushes it into bonkers is his post-breakup behavior.

I was a junior in high school and was in the fall musical when I'd started dating another one of the dancers. The third week in, I was swamped with homework, soccer practice and rehearsals, so I only saw her after school on the days we had rehearsal and could only talk on the phone/AIM for a little bit. Monday through…

Before I left for a semester abroad in London, I planned to break up with my boyfriend of six months, Chris. He was a class A asshole— case in point, he had a tattoo of a leprechaun playing the bass guitar with one foot in a pot of golden beers on his upper arm. He was a huge stoner (OK full disclosure...so was I) .…

I once had a huge breakup fight with my boyfriend over hamburger helper. He wanted me to get up and get an additional fork instead of sharing his and for some reason I refused.