I misread this and thought she had saved her first period for you so you'd know what it looked like. I was simultaneously impressed at her forethought and revolted by the idea of her showing you an extremely old period stain.

What the fuck. This is horrifying.

OMG, I can't even handle imagining the panic of not knowing what's going on and hearing her leave the freaking house. I'm so sorry!

Oh Starter jackets.... I coveted one so hard but I got a knock off instead because we were poor.

This is the exact reason I didn't tell my mom for probably a year after I started my period. I come from a family of tremendous gossips in a very small town.

Wait... what? Wouldn't that cause all kinds of vaginal infections?

But how did he respond?

I'm sorry to laugh at your embarrassment, but I really laughed out loud a this.

I also tested the absorbency of the pads in that came with my period starter kit. But I was apparently confused because I (for some reason) thought periods in a flow like urine so, obviously, I tried to pee on one. Needless to say I was not impressed with the ability to keep me comfortable and dry.

This might be the best reward for a first period ever.

You may be my hero for surviving this.

Wow. I think this wins. I'm so sorry.

WTF; I am so appalled for you.

This is the best news I've heard in a long time.

I already bought my tickets to go for my birthday this year. I'm so squee I cannot even contain myself until September.

I really feel like I need a duck expert to explain what I just saw. How could that many ducks feed from one spot? Do they normally run between food spots instead of flying (because that seems like a waste, imho). I have so many questions.

Bacon, bleu cheese and Cajun-type spices make omelet perfection.

The first time I ever did bong hits was in college. We'd taken turns doing maybe two hits and I was stoned but handling my shit. Getting high often results in me baking cupcakes so douche-boyfriend and I are in the kitchen mixing batter (and presumably eating it raw) when suddenly I am way too high. We'd been…

I love you for this.

But wait, were the mothers vaccinated? We can't rule out blaming it on vaccinations so quickly!