Insight

I recently played Free Your Mind for a bunch of new hires at my company and their minds were blown.

YAAAAAS! Giving Him Something He Can Feel is my jam. That’s the quintessential shower singing tune and I have clear memories of my sisters and I wrapping red towels around us and singing/acting out the video.

I remember listening to never ever in th car and my dad pointing out that the chords were the same as amazing grace. My childhood mind was BLOWN.

I’m really not down with calling anything to do with music appropriative. Music isn’t made in a vacuum. Musicians hear other musicians doing something they think sounds cool so they try it. ALL THE TIME. This happens across styles and cultures and races and religions and trends and races and time and space and…

You could argue that, but it would be idiotic to do so. You know... because people have actually studied this. A comprehensive investigation of voter fraud found 31 credible incidents out of 1 billion ballots cast from 2000 to 2014. That’s .0000031%.

If you don’t agree with Dr. Seuss, that’s fine. But if you can’t understand Dr. Seuss, you should not hold public office.

I want an alternate version TOO DRUMPF TO FUCK.

I also miss her as LuAnne. She was so good at playing such a simple, sweet character.

If anyone is murdering prostitutes and dumping their bodies in the river, it’s definitely Ted Cruz.

Trump. At least with Trump there’s some chance he doesn’t actually believe the insane shit he’s saying.

I think it might be for The Donald. But it has to be the best vagina, real classy, high quality. And yuggge, only the yuggest vagina for Donnie Boy.

Hell, just reading this post has given me an STD.

My grandmother freaked out and thought my aunt was going to hell because she saw “Saturday Night Fever.”

I am still aghast by the moving pictograph I saw at the “nickel-odeon.” Ankles were revealed. ANKLES.

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!!!!

You guys, help me. I was livid with rage throughout W’s bumbling reign, but somehow I have a perverse lady boner for Jeb. I wouldn’t want him to be President, EVER, but something about his abject humiliation in this election cycle is really tasty to me. (*going off to scrub myself with steel wool and rubbing alcohol*)