Do you have any idea how many dudes in my office building carry on phone conversations while crapping? It’s actually disturbing. They seem like business calls too. They’ll be sitting there talking about god knows what, with grunting, farting, and flushing regularly happening in the background.

Your premise is making light of a serious issue: pissing and texting at the same time - Pexting.

I checked ESPN yesterday at a random time and was shocked to see the Mets game already over. Seriously, who the fuck OKed a home opener at 1pm on a Thursday? The day after a night game in Florida? What fucking madness is this? It pissed me off, and I’m just some random idiot Met fan. Syndergaard is right to be furious.

Late 30s here. All kidding aside, this conversation made me have to pee.

I’m not quite 39, and I’ve pissed 4 times since I got to the office at 0905.

These just look AAFul.

PEAK Draymond vs “7 ppg a game” Draymond

Exactly how my day started today. Hate getting attitude that suggests I am an idiot for having missed something. When it was idiotic technology that failed all parties, so assumptions were made on all ends, and another sitcom episode based upon simple misunderstandings was born.

Unless they actually win the East, they have no claim to bring better than the 01 team.

My rule of thumb is that Pops is always right. So obviously the referee here was aggriegously in the wrong and should be fired. Terrible call ref.

Hey guys! Over here! I found the last man alive who still thinks Ingram will ever evolve into anything other than a stat padding pile of butt!

The entire western conference vs the refs is my favorite rivalry right now. 

You are a soon to be capped out team with a ball stopping veteran on the decline in Jimmy Buckets, a “good player on a bar team” stat filler in Harris, a great young player who puzzlingly won’t shoot from the field and is 100% LA bound first chance he gets anyways, and one true star who is forced to play out of…

So that’s a record? I’ll admit it: I don’t get this particular Nispey Hussle tribute.

I’m amazed at your restraint with the wizards. you know they fired the old man right? As for my team, the heat, there is no way. In 2010 we made a deal with the devil and had four years of glory. Our end of the bargain was relegation to competing for the 8 seed for three generations and refusing to lose for a lottery…

It’s career-threatening.

Good thing they didn’t make any effort to pursue Machado.

I wish the big bullies like Baltimore would stop beating up on plucky upstarts like New York.

Did the yankees start using the met’s medical team?

Nitpick: “defending rookie of the year runner-up” - not sure someone defends a 2nd place finish, especially for a ROY contest they will never be a part of again.

I’ll take it!