That's a cat. Awww. Dude, that's a fucking cat. I can't believe he fucked it up in the column. This cat is gonna get fucked up. HOLY SHIT.

This better make it into the roundup.

"The is an independent investigation. We have not hand selected the investigation team. Here is a summary of their resume."

Thanks for the write up, it's a great beer. Stone's Ruin Ten is also high on my list right now.

Calm down, man, I told you not to take the Browns acid, man.

What a day. Take a kick to the head, and now he can expect a random drug test, too.

Hey Bobby, hold my beer...

None of those sections look as comfortable as my couch.

Then she's not going to get very far by drinking that coffee. Gonna have to drain the tank after one cup.

The college football coach. I'm trying to think of another position in life that comes with such a mouthpiece and huge media exposure so easily.

"Call me."

"Here, read this email on my phone from the NCAA..."

It's rumored that Maradona is about to file a similar suit regarding FIFA's substitution policy for hand injuries.

Gordon took the wrong tack in not playing the Mary Jane card:

Beltre just needs to move to first if he's not comfortable at third base. Everybody knows that getting to third involves touching the head.

Gilbert also planned to promise rock music in the hallways, but reconsidered since most players won't be able to hear it over the ringing after Week 4.

This isn't the first time a couple of stories and some 7 year old led to a wet Trojan.

This is news of biblical proportions. Not one Evangel expected to survive the Firestorm.

Sorry man, just a shot at the obligatory "she traveled" joke.

She went to South Williamsport.