Who else is old enough to remember this gem:

I think you're probably going to be a numpty jerk no matter what I say, but can we at least leave the crass insults of the dead out of it? That is a whole lot more distasteful than consenting adults doing what they want to their bodies.

Quotes directly from the article:

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THIS.

OK, here's the thing. I get that tattooing the whites of your eyes for fun (and shock value) is probably a fairly ridiculous (and possibly dangerous) thing to do. But consider a different perspective. There are people out there, myself included, who have eye conditions that cause "cosmetic" discoloration of the…

Listen, I'm not here to ruin anyone's good time...

okay people. If you are coming to Canada to let a guy named Cobra stick inky needles into your eyeballs at a tattoo convention you kind of deserve to go blind. I say that as a very tattooed Canadian.

Clearly Skynet has gone live... and is promoting the Homosexual Agenda!

Sure! I think I can fit you in Tuesdays and Sundays. We'll pretend your "dad" has you the rest of the week.

I could think of seeing something far more offensive on television:

"...How I would have explained it God only knows."

Well "Jimmy" is also a slang term for Penis (although not really used anymore), so it really makes perfect sense. But Howard Johnsons would have been funny too.

"[My children] think it was a four-legged man shaking his willy about. How I would have explained it God only knows."

Thanks. Not pan or bi, but thanks all the same. The 'can' versus 'will' thing truly hit home—sexuality is not about 'can' fuck, but 'want' or 'will' fuck. Not to bogart your tale, but there have been straight friends of mine with sudden hard-ons who suddenly think my mouth works in a pinch.

xenophobic? xeno-fucking-phobic?! who the fuck are you?!

I feel like their being Christians is relevant. He got a picture of Jesus as a tip. I don't think that atheists, jews, hindus, etc. do that. Also, as a someone who is not Christian and was raised in on the East Coast, seeing the extent of religiosity of can be pretty striking...

this is it. this is the one. here we go.

You can stop now, Midwestern Christians are not an oppressed group.