A lot of people have made versions of this joke, but, here's mine:

Nice! Slash maybe concerning that he's visible? Isn't the point that one doesn't know which actual car he's in?

DAWES-try

I work a couple blocks from the white house. The first time it's pretty cool. Every other time for five years, it's a fucking nuisance.

Fuck the fucking fuckers who broke into my apartment last week and stole a handful of electronics. Fuck me for not having renter's insurance. And fuck my credit card, apparently, because replacing this shit isn't fun.

To avoid leaving a fellow Fry hanging:

Don't you get those from everyone?

They might, actually, but there's no reason you can't join them!

"more Hey Dude than Deadwood" is a phrase that I want to steal and incorporate into everything.

They never forgave themselves for passing on The Perfect Storm

Some of us just don't have your stamina.

You won't stop telling us about it.

I'd set up a novelty account, but it'd be a lot of work keeping up with Dik.

While I emulate Fry more often than an adult man probably should, it is not.

Shut up and take it!

The twist is that it's the first movie of a trilogy, but there are no sequels.

Mine's an old joke made at my expense that nobody remembers but me, so, if we're just going on usernames I still think you have me beat.

Confused, enraged, etc.

Glad to hear it, I though I'd remembered I had you pegged as reasonable.

Every other awful thing you said aside, the claim that "for every rape victim, there is one rapist, and vice versa" is just demonstrably wrong in every single category.