That’s fair.

The new season is surprisingly good. Didn’t miss his ass a bit.

I’m sorry, is this a science based cookie dough?

I find your lack of Weird Al disturbing.

Didn’t realize today’s word was HARSH.

I too feel on fire when I have too much Cayenne

...with a secret.

The quiz went as expected “There was an error in your submission”

“They have locked the gates… we cannot get out… mascots… mascots everywhere… their eyes, always watching… we cannot get out… the song plays constantly… we cannot get out… always the same… M-I-C… they “see” everything… K-E-Y… why won’t it stop??? M-O-YOU CAN’T LEAVE!”

Heeeeeeeeeere.

He's here. He's there. He's everyfuckingwhere.

Here’s what I think of your newfangled football “video” games.

You’re so vain, you probably think this OSHA is about you ...

BUT I LIKE SITTING HIGH UP IT MAKES ME FEEL SAFER

I bet Rob Schneider plays the space dust

“...don’t care about who you are or what you’ve accomplished.”

My wife farts a lot in her sleep, so that's another thing that happens at night. 

Is she paying royalties to JG Ballard (Manhole 69)?