Whitney, put down the box of wine and go lay down.

Thank you for understanding and translating. You’re doing the lord’s work.

I love it. It’s like Kate and Wills showing up 7 hours after the birth with the baby to say, “Here’s your photo op, paps!” The Daily Mail and other paps have been stalking this guy since the engagement was even a rumor, usually painting him in an unflattering way - hermit loser, rather than average American retiree in…

I have no idea what’s going on here.

Or Master Chief.

Some people are always on the lookout for a new client.

You’ve gotta put Alien on this list. It’s all about maternity.

I’m not entirely certain Carrie Underwood wants to be left alone to heal in peace. I’ve never seen so many articles and interviews with her.

So many Boomers are just SO. OUT. OF. TOUCH. They truly have no idea how little they had to pay for their educations, homes, and basic necessities and how much they benefit from pensions, retirement programs, Medicare, and Social Security. Later generations have had none of their advantages, and the Boomers in…

Tristan Thompson* not Thomas. On a sidenote, Megan, i enjoy any writings you put out, I just hope everything is okay with Bobby since he’s been absent for a few days!

This is “twice” that they’ve been caught smooching within the past month

The “Source” being Don Jr.’s sentient chin, which left his face a long time ago out of shame.

Nah. There’s subset of people who, despite dating someone for years or even having kids with them, will insist that they are in fact single.

Holy shit I can’t believe the person who wrote this. What the hell do you expect servers to do?

If they hid Bobby while letting Rich roam around unhindered, I will be cross.

“Why do servers always check in when my mouth is full?”

That’s getting dangerously into mullet territory, there.

So is Ariana wearing a condom on her head in the lede pic to indicate said singleness? Do I, as a single woman need to wear a condom hat? Or only if I’m DTF? The last month and a half have been busy, I’m just concerned I might be behind on these things.

I find it interesting that they seem to be assuming a woman deliberately did this.

You want to figure out how the fetus died? It was 20 weeks and not at a hospital. No fetus is surviving that, even if it was “alive” when it was delivered.