I had a party like this! I made what has forever since been known as "Anachronistic Punch" which was the winter drink recipe from Dickens' Christmas Carol. More or less, equal parts gin and madeira, with spices and honey and citrus peels, served up in a crockpot.

The party was during a blizzard, so those who came…

Read that as “pit of Cheetos,” was very excited for a second TBH.

The bar cart is full of the random stuff; the whiskey doesn't last long enough to collect.

Your friend is a saint.

I got hardwood floor burn from showing off my dance moves at one of her parties. Maybe you ARE her.

I can understand and agree with your point. I think that candy, “junk food”, and soda should be at least limited in the dollar amount that can be spent per month. ‘Cuz in this country, although there may be some bad wells (sometimes really bad wells!) with the availability of bottled water and refillable water…

mathlete captain of Calabasas High and Amber Rose’s Instagram buddy.

No pleasure of any kind for the lazy moochers. No soda. No chips. Can’t afford contraception or a baby? No sex.

Shit’s nice! You can buy soooo much. 44 inch TVs. Jordans. Cadillacs WITH the rims, what ever you want. And all on taxpayers money. There is a catch, you have to be Black because only Black people are ever on food stamps.

List of approved items;

Also, the Real Gay Agenda:

Because if I have to acknowledge the likelihood that my parents had sex, it’s at least better to assume it was dutiful and joyless and only happened the once.

Am I really supposed to tip this floral delivery guy when I didn't even know he was coming to deliver me flowers that I didn't even buy?

I do feel like good on her for taking the thing that won't go away and trying to make it into something useful/positive/profitable.

Hard to pick up a lemon and put it in my see-through fridge without thinking of her.

If anybody knows about bullying, it's her. She paid an extraordinary price for something she did when she was young and starstruck. At 41 and two decades later, she still is shunned, has had difficultly getting a job and never been married/had children, which was something she wanted. She is the modern day Hester…

We (Chicago) made you, Oprah! We can unmake you! (no we can't) (I don't blame you) (It's so cold right now)

LIES. MAYO IS PROOF GOD LOVES US.

Me: *looks at all these beautiful people with perfect bodies moving effortlessly*