Poor sports. Hilarious, but poor sports.

I like being able to cross my legs in an airplane seat.

I never drink milk but still think this a pile of horseshit. Because if not for milk, I would not have the cheese, cream, and butter that I do eat.

And rum.

I know you were joking, but you would not fucking believe the construction boom. I've lived in Grand Forks about a year and I have never witnessed such obvious rapid development. It's nuts. It's 6 fucking degrees out there right now and construction workers are putting up apartments and condos while freezing their…

I posted on Facebook that it's not fair when people who are not ready for marriage/children get to have parties where people give them shit, but I don't get anything for not marrying some POS just because he asked, or not having kids I can't really support.

I would answer your questions if I were allowed to post here anymore but apparently I'm not.

That's almost as head scratching as my allergy to Benadryl.

Saving this for every self-appointed expert who tells me I can eat what I want so long as I exercise.

I have a NYCB DVD.

The only way my standards could get any lower was if I was OK with fucking men I don't want to fuck. Still chronically single. And resigned to it.

Middle income, middle aged, never married here. I spent years trying to change that last descriptor only to conclude that based on my pool of potential mates (i.e., slim pickins'), I'm literally better off on my own. If I can pay my bills on one income, why have in my life someone who decreases my quality of life…

I had a moment of confusion when I read the headline. Then I said "Damn, I'm old."

I have never seen a photograph where I could more clearly hear the subject saying "Bitch, please."

I've gotten at least one belly laugh out of almost every episode. In my book, that makes a successful sitcom.

I was born two hours after the doctor told my mother it would be another two weeks.

The Aztecs would be proud. :)

I make homemade hot chocolate with cocoa powder. In the microwave, using the mug I drink it from.

I have to admit that peppermint bark marshmallows sound awesome.

Faux evergreen branch, goddamnit. It's faux.