I'm pretty fucking desperate for a man. Still not this desperate.

Actually, I might watch of few minutes of Whoopi and Palin trying to not kill each other. That would constitute a few minutes more than I've ever watched The View in the past.

At what age do you stop thinking it's funny to flip off a camera? I can't remember when I stopped but I'm pretty sure there are no pictures of me doing that after age 16.

Mine will only eat "classic." Give him any Fancy Feast that doesn't say "classic" on the label, he sniffs at it and then looks at me as if to say "why are you punishing me?"

My cat turns up his noise at all people food (except fried potatoes). He won't touch fresh salmon. But give him a can of Fancy Feast with "salmon" printed on the label and he's all over that shit.

I was known to get into the cat kibble as a kid (just the kibble, not the canned stuff.) I liked it because it was salty. I also once chipped a piece off our cow's salt lick.

I'm not even sure why, but upon reading the headline I said "this is either Florida or England."

What I read was "Because I did this people are calling me fatso and white trash and that feels bad."

I'm guessing this started as a drunken joke. "Started as" because it's too coherent to have been edited while still smashed. Not that I've ever come to to find a stream of incoherent tweets I don't remember posting or anything like that.

Facebook science: the two of my childhood friends who send their kids to Waldorf schools were serious wasters back in the day. And are now anti-vaxxers. And one of them told me to not take antibiotics, but drink apple cider vinegar after I stabbed a hole in my hand in a cooking mishap and needed three stitches.

Because transgender women "do the transgender thing" to sneak into "our" bathrooms and dressing rooms to hear us tinkle and see our boobies. I can't think of any other reason whey they would subject themselves to harassment, alienation and violence. Yes, indeedy.

I live tweeted this movie while watching it hammered. My friends said it was better than the actual movie.

I didn't realize Kors and Valentino did costume design for Little House on the Prairie.

I've been wondering how much insurance companies spend providing birth control versus pre-natal care and birth, then pediatric care for the resulting children. I'm guessing the former is significantly less and there's an accountant at whatever insurance carrier Hobby Lobby uses gritting his/her teeth and muttering…

I was just thinking that if I ever won the lottery, I'd go around giving out free birth control. Me thinking that doesn't actually help anyone, but just imagine what the world would be like if no one conceived children they didn't want to have.

:O

For some reason, this is the thing that bugs me most about any discussion of contraception coverage:

Anyone who peeps at me naked is immediately punished. By the sight of me naked.

I'm stressed over trying to find a cat sitter. I can't even imagine. :(

Meat, grains/potatoes, veggies. How the fuck is that not a meal?