Leggings are pants at the gym.

We did a self esteem exercise in 9th grade where we were told to stand up. "Now, everyone who's ever been made fun of for any reason, walk to the other side of the room." Every single kid in that class walked to the other side of the room.

On the other side of that, I've been told "I don't know what you want!" 30 seconds after I told him exactly what I wanted. If you ever want to get asked if you're fucking retarded, do that. (It's what popped out of my mouth in a white hot fury. I know it's wrong and I apologize.)

TL;STRBGU. (Too long; started to read but gave up.)

I just started a new job at a very large organization and the orientation included a few "kids" who may well have just landed their first full time gigs. I was bummed for them about the piss-poor job the payroll person did of explaining how the health insurance and retirement plans work. That shit is complicated and…

I love everybody taking Jezebel to task for this post.

I've seen Captain Phillips and American Hustle. I liked both fine, but if those are serious contenders for best movie of the year, movies this year sucked.

The good news: the chronically lonely look forward to the sweet release of death.

No thanks.

"It seems like the picture was taken in jest ... ."

LOL you can literally say that you're being sarcastic and people still don't get that it's sarcasm.

I wish. They're dead.

Hate to break it to you, but I already am. Good head on fugly shoulders don't count for shit in the man-catching department.

It ended up being a pointless lesson because I'm gonna die a spinster. But it was a good lesson to watch a childhood friend marry at 18 in a huge, fancy wedding with something like ten bridesmaids, lavish reception, and Yucatan honeymoon. Then they came home to live in her parents' garage and were divorced before they…

"You are a brave woman taking part in an organization that does actively try to oppress gay people"

This teaching is what actually drove me away from Christianity. They taught me in Bible class that so long as you accept Jesus as your savior, you go to heaven no matter what you do. Unfortunately for the people who taught me that, I thought about that. And decided I wasn't down with people who think you can be a…

It wasn't Sallie Mae but I once had a bill collector say in an accusing tone "What do you mean you have no income? How are you paying your bills?" Um, I'm obviously not, genius. Hence you, the bill collector, calling me.

I love how when you "cancel" a comment after accidentally hitting reply when you were just trying to hit the star, Gawker mobile just posts a blank comment.

Yeah, I read that and was all "the lavender bubble bath people?"

Until I got to parts about "against family wishes" and "only 14 weeks pregnant" I was wondering what the hell the problem was.