Just give them time. I'm 38 and never married and no one dares say a thing to my face for fear I'll blow my brains out in front of them.

If you see your wedding as "I give you dinner, you give me cash or equivalent to pay for dinner" just sell tickets to the damn thing.

How to get drunk after age 38: After nearly 4 decades of life repeatedly kicking you in the face, you've developed a hell of a tolerance. So either empty your bank account or don't eat anything the day you plan to get drunk.

I'm going to Seattle on business on the 12th. It was supposed to be my escape from the shithole that is NYC in summer. But I'm looking at the weather reports and saying what the fuck?

I would ask you out except that experience has taught me that if you're worth having, you won't want me. Despite your description of yourself matching my description of myself. Except the widowed part (sorry about that) and I'm a librarian instead physician.

The one person in my office with kids at home has been denied promotion multiple times, one of the reasons being "she's not dedicated."

Be old and plain.

I typed and deleted about three different replies trying to come up with the best way to express my reaction to your comment. I've decided succinct and clear is best:

I stopped reading at "He hates when you drive like a shithead and put everyone in the car at risk." Someone SHOULD hate that in a significant other.

I'm reminded of the episode of Absolutely Fabulous where Patsy says you can't put two racehorses in the same stall or they'll kick the shit out of each other.

I can't speak for everyone. But I'm staying single because the partners available to me suck as human beings. They want relationships (or claim to), but they don't want to do the work of being in a relationship. And they're mostly sexually dysfunctional (or just plain lazy in the sack). If "compromise" means being…

"What that means, in practical terms, is that you have to try a bra on before you buy it."

I think that cut looks very feminine. Which is cool if that's the look the wearer is going for.

I've totally turned into my mother. But you know what else happened as I aged? I pulled my head out of my ass and realized how fucking badass my mother is.

"...the vegan who is nice but silently judges... ."

I asked the same thing the last time this picture was run here. It still looks like a binder clip to me.

I think it should be international law that anyone who comments on someone else's appearance in print or on the internet should be required to post a picture of themselves.

"'Yellow fever'is one of the grossest terms in the world. I feel embarrassed every time it is uttered because basically everything that's wrong with it as a concept is contained in the name itself: it's racist, it relies on painfully antiquated views of sexuality (men are so helpless before their desire that it's like…

I always assumed plus-size models were just as shopped as non-plus-size models.

Speaking as someone with dysgraphia: good. Don't let the screen door hit your ass on your way out, cursive.