Asks me what size and brand my favorite bra is; offered choices fail to include my cup size and brand. Not impressed.

The relationship between headline and content is getting more and more tenuous around here.

"You see, French women don't really like other women."

Anyone who snarks on another's appearance on the internet should be required to post a picture of him or herself with the comment.

I'm smiling while imagining my grandchild-less but very thrifty mother's reaction to this article.

That's hilarious.

I watched the first series of Prime Suspect last month and kept thinking "how the hell is that woman hotter now than she was 20 years ago?"

"Then, you'll look good for your age."

Oh, I never thought to flame you. I do kind of want to pat you on the head and tell you you're cute, though. I know that sounds horribly patronizing and I'm sorry.

I love when "professionals" tell me to do stuff I just do.

Where's my speed-dating event featuring only men with hairy chests?

I've spent four years carrying my own laundry bag to the laundromat; no one's ever offered to help. This year I dropped a noticeable amount of weight and all of a sudden every other dude I pass wants to carry my laundry for me. Ironically, all the exercise makes it that much easier for me to carry it myself.

Fatpocalypse is my new favorite made-up word.

"What's so puzzling about this incident is that there appears to be no real reason for putting the kids up there."

I was following along handily until the name Idris Elba came up. Then my mind was just all "Iiiddrriiss Ellbbbaa OMG sooo sexy... Idris... I'm sorry, what were we talking about? Hunger what?"

I hope someone takes this article as a reason to cast Michelle Rodriguez more often. That might actually get my ass into a movie theater.

No, it's still jaywalking. I do it all the time, too. The trick is to be careful about it and too many people aren't. Drivers, cyclists and pedestrians all need to pay more attention, not be so foolhardy, and stop assuming the other guy sees you/is paying attention to what he's doing/gives a fuck about not maiming you.

If he stayed on the scene, that makes him better than 90% of NYC drivers who hit pedestrians. (I pulled that statistic out of my ass. But if you live here, you know what I mean.)

Putting aside the whole question of the "buy a second seat policy," her request is absolutely, 100% reasonable. When I read the part about this happening on a layover, my first thought was "... the fuck? She wasn't too fat for the first flight but is too fat for her second flight? I call shenanigans."

I was once at the zoo during the feeding of the lions. One lioness got bored after she finished her raw meat and rushed me and a little kid from behind her enclosure that she had little chance of breaching. I knew intellectually that I was in no danger but I still got the hell out of her way real fast. When you're…