I’m amazed that 1) they didn’t also murder her and 2) she was brace enough to go to the police!

Just in case anyone is curious... I am not pregnant, nor am I expecting to be anytime soon. Thank you for your time.

My aunt went to Saudi Arabia literally yesterday, I texted her to congratulate her on fixing the problem so immediately. She can’t even drive!

Beautiful work, نساء!

Just found out yesterday my uncle and his husband are alive (Thank God!) along with hubby’s sisters and now I have to read this imbecile’s comments about how “great” things are going and what a good job they are doing for this island in the big vast ocean.

If you’re speaking with someone that is being surveiled, and you are surveiled as a result, it doesn’t mean you were wiretapped. It means you have shady associates.

Art can be real fuckin’ stupid sometimes, and it could not possibly get any more stupid than when it puts me on the same side of an argument as god damn fucking PETA.

“These dogs are naturally pugnacious”

This is the only known image to record the historic meeting between Elrond and Keith Richards.

Especially after 8 years of hearing “Not My President!”

You are far too kind, my trouser-trapped-elongated-green-summer-squashy friend. I say that not out of modesty, but because I discovered (after the window for editing had closed) that I left out the closing parenthesis in the final sentence of the post. There’s a good chance I won’t be able to sleep tonight, images of…

“You know you’ve moralized an issue,” Damore wrote (issue meaning racism), “when you can’t criticize its heroes or acknowledge any positive aspect of its villains.”

This one made me the laugh the most:

Hm. Interesting lack of comma, there.

#PrivateIsland

Well, ‘in certain locations’, i.e. the path of the hurricane, it was pretty bad. But y’know, in Cleveland it wasn’t bad at all!

Hi, I’m here to talk about Apple Stores being rebranded as Apple Town Squares with Genius Groves inside.

1.fingerprint vs face

Rod is my neighbor, or at least he was before he became a guest of the state. He had the annoying habit of stopping to say hi to literally every human being he met in the neighborhood while he jogged, which sounds folksy af but the reality was more like “Oh great, there’s the governor and he’s all sweaty and gross…